He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
