Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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