I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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