Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I need moral support for this bender
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
