Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
