Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
i think im in europe. pls send help
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
