yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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