the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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