Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
