For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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