you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
i think im in europe. pls send help
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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