My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
