he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
wow bdsm is so cute
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
