So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize