it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize