so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
