Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
So much rum. So many feels.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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