Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You're like the curious george of whores
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
