Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Boobs are out for the taking
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
