i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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