Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
