Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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