so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
