just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
