ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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