thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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