so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
