last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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