I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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