he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
