maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize