Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
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