i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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