he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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