im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
