Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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