So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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