i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
BRING THE BAGELS
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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