You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
