i jhust puked up my retainher.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
