i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
