Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
