Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize