life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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