NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
