i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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