it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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