Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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