Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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