I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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