There was a lot of him and a little penis
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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