his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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