Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
