no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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