Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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