dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
