I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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