I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
