they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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