my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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