what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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