i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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