Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
