Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
The dick lei will go down in squad history
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
