pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Two words: blizzard sex
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
