just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I believe in your delicious
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Congratulations! We have a period
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
