he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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