Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
