Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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