You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
